The Ten Things Every Woman Must Have Realized at 25

You are at the point in your life where and when you feel that you are 100% an adult. You earn your own money, you support your family, you pay your bills (and have consistently done it on time), you clean your own apartment, you buy your own groceries, you create life-changing thoughts and decisions in your shower (or in the loo, your choice), you do your laundry, you (try to) manage your schedule (juggling work, family, love and recreation) and you are 25.

And then there are moments in being in this quarter of a century that you understand you are at least a little wiser than yesterday and so much more than 365 days ago. You’ve learned that:

1. Family is everything. This is something you’ve heard countless times from your parents and other grownups when you were just a few feet old but you’ve really learned its essence to the core of your being when you’ve spent years away from home while trying to chase after what the future holds for you. You learned that your mother really is the superwoman in your life without the red and yellow costume you’ve drawn and imagined her to be when you submitted your second grade homework. You learned that your sibling is the greatest ally you can have, no matter your differences. You learned of the grave difficulty your parent/s has/have gone through just so you can have a comfortable life after receiving your paychecks that were earned through a month’s worth of petty issues at work, fatigue, emotional distress, questioning of self-worth and so much more but you still have to show up because yeah, this is life. You respect your parents more because of that. You learned that at the end of the day, the sweetest idea will always be that you will always have somewhere to go and your most favorite people in the world are there waiting for you.

2. The smaller your circle, the lesser the stress. Over time since college, you have learned that not everyone who calls you “sis” on Facebook is a true friend in the real world. You learned that not all people who post collages of your photos together on Instagram on your birthday are people you can count on. You learned that no matter how many hundreds of followers and ‘likers’ you have on social media, you can only count the realest people with just your hands (or plus your toes, if you’re lucky). You learned that if it came to a crazy point where you had to delete and just leave those who you really think will stay with you in real life, your News Feed will only consist of close family and a few friends. Need I elaborate more?

3. God is an amazing God. You learned that He has been guiding you all along and that your wishes and dreams have all been in a way or another, granted – in the way you wanted it to be and sometimes, in a way better than you have imagined. You learned to surrender everything to Him – your disappointments, sorrows, regrets, guilt, dreams and successes. You learned that with Him in your heart, everything will be okay.

4. Your lover is your best-est friend. You learned that there’s really not a constant need for girl talks and all that because you have the world by your side. You have the greatest confidant in someone you call your boyfriend. You learned that there’s no point hiding the most authentic you from him as if he’s really meant to stay, he will have to make do of the real you anyway. You learned that that person who stuck with you through thick and thin is worth imagining forever with. You learned that though love is not measured in the years you spent together, the years will always be intangible proof of your solid partnership against the world and that it will always be a source of pride for you.

5. You will never be truly ready. You will never be ready to go through another job interview. You will never be ready to relocate. You will never be ready to attend that high school reunion. You will never be ready for family life. You will never be, what with your very idealistic expectations from yourself and from the world. But you’ve learned that fact so even if it’s as scary as hell, you learn to brave the chance and pray with all your heart that it will be worth it.

6. Travelling is something you owe yourself. You learned that there’s more to travelling than simply spending your hard-earned cash for some flamboyant pleasures of the world. You learned that you learn more of yourself as you travel. You learned that there’s a bigger world of possibilities outside your little space of comfort. You learned that you travel to have your mind and soul grow with you – that you have to do this as a spiritual, mental and emotional hibernation from everything that’s keeping you weighed down. You learned that you deserve it.

7. Money can always be earned. As much as you’ve learned the value of money when you became a part of the working force in your country (or overseas), you’ve also learned its little value when compared to more important things like family, self-love and spirituality. You see now how little luster money has in your eyes and how it pales when beside these other needs or goals in life. You can always earn money. Anytime, anywhere. Memories can never be that way when you’ve chosen money over it.

8. LVs and Louboutins are not investments. You learned that it’s so much worth your sweat and tears to put your money into real investments like building your dream house, purchasing your dream car, having an insurance or saving it all up in the bank. You learned that you’d rather have a more worthwhile ‘show’ of something you can brand your life achievement than flaunt something you can wear for a few years and in very infrequent instances.

9. Your greatest asset will always be a good head on your shoulders. You learned that to be sexy, it doesn’t require you to strip. NOT AT ALL. You learned that being smart is so much more important than spending your time trying to have (and going gaga) over Candice Swanepoel’s tiny waist or Kendall Jenner’s loooooooooooooooonggggggg legs. You’ve learned to spend more of your precious time sharpening both hemispheres of your brain – with some stalking in between, but still.

10. Not everyone’s gonna be nice but you don’t have to be bitter yourself. As much as you want to live in a perfect world, you will always come across people who seem to do nothing but burst someone’s bubble. You have consistently crossed paths with these people but you have learned either to have a safe distance from them or have learned to just simply eradicate them in your life. You learned that you don’t have to join their wagon to be equal or feel better for yourself. You have realized that you love and respect yourself to a degree that you have to protect yourself from these unhealthy people. Instead, you learned to make the opposite of them out of yourself. You learned that the world is too beautiful to not have beautiful people. So you try to inspire, motivate and move by living your life the most positive way you can.#

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159 thoughts on “The Ten Things Every Woman Must Have Realized at 25

  1. ashley

    I am 26 and i don’t agree with some of this artical , but i knew who i was years beofre 25 …some people family are worth it my little fmily my husband and kids are eevrything to me…but my mother and sisiter are nothing to me… I am always ready for a new thing…I have never been into name brands my whole life…i would never even think about paying that much for a bag. I really love to travel we do it a lot… I do not believe in god. I have always had a small circle since i was little i always stayed away form drama. My husband of 7 years is my best friend………..

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  2. Pingback: The Ten Things Every Woman Must Have Realized at 25. | sundayswithkeisha

  3. wanderrwithmee

    Reblogged this on wanderrwithmee and commented:
    Travelling is something you owe yourself. You learned that there’s more to travelling than simply spending your hard-earned cash for some flamboyant pleasures of the world. You learned that you learn more of yourself as you travel. You learned that there’s a bigger world of possibilities outside your little space of comfort. You learned that you travel to have your mind and soul grow with you – that you have to do this as a spiritual, mental and emotional hibernation from everything that’s keeping you weighed down. You learned that you deserve it.

    Like

    Reply
  4. Pingback: The Ten Things Every Woman Must Have Realized at 25 | ruzrozzy

  5. Avo Waters

    I have always been an age ahead of myself.. but I only came to realise all these at 22..Am 23 now. Quite truthful.

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  6. cyril

    Hi, Hessa. I prefer to call you with the name I got used to. It might take me sometime to get used to calling you “Aly”. I started reading your articles half an hour ago. I found them so revealing about your gradual growing up, of coping up with new realities and realizations from the “outside world.” The greatest joys in life come from struggles.Let me repeat what I told you several times and most recently, I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU, DEAR GIRL (or YOUNG WOMAN?). Keep on writing, and be a source of inspiration and hope for those facing the same struggle as you do. Yes, you can make your life better – and others, too (as the title of my book keeps reminding). What you have written and expressed so far in your blog are potential bestsellers if turned into a book. Keeping soaring but keep your feet planted on firm soil. Uncle Padz.

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  7. Angel

    Well written 🙂 I am 25 and this blog really helps. Lots of things and thoughts to ponder as I begin my journey to quarter life!!! 🙂

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  8. Pingback: Repost: The Ten Things Every Woman Must Have Realized at 25 | Angela's

  9. cyril

    Me too, you are Hessa to me or full Alyssa. Keep on writing…I am one proud reader of your blog.-Auntie Celia Ortega

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  10. Vu Ngoc Bich (@vumilena)

    Thank you for your post! I am 21 and am on my way learning all these important lessons. Family is always number 1, value experiences, money is not everything but it is mandatory. Everybody is actually struggling sometimes.

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  15. Charmagne

    Thanks for you blog! I really love reading it over and over again.. This will definetely be on my top fave.. There alot of points that I can relate to. You made my day! Gracias! 😘

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    1. Charmagne

      Thanks for you blog! I really love reading it over and over again.. This will definitely be on my top fave.. There’s a lot of points that I can relate to. You made my day! Gracias! 😘

      Like

      Reply
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  23. Lianne

    Reblogged this on DareDreamEscape and commented:
    3. God is an amazing God. You learned that He has been guiding you all along and that your wishes and dreams have all been in a way or another, granted – in the way you wanted it to be and sometimes, in a way better than you have imagined. You learned to surrender everything to Him – your disappointments, sorrows, regrets, guilt, dreams and successes. You learned that with Him in your heart, everything will be okay.

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