Adult, Adulthood, Girls, Life, Positive Thinking, Positivity, Realities, Survival, Thoughts, Woman, Women

Why You Always Have To Choose To Stay Positive

Surely there were moments in your existence that tested you to your core. Surely in those moments, a good deep-from-the-lungs scream gave you relief. Sometimes a good heartfelt cuss, maybe? (Don’t worry, you are not alone.) Surely in these instances, you’ve had different approaches. One was being a pessimist – like when things went wrong, you did nothing but add more anions in the already negatively charged vibe of your life. Second is you’ve been the Tyra Banks of your life – that is making (or trying to make out) good things out of disastrous situations, finding meaning in it, looking for the lesson this situation is supposed to teach you, learning from it and actually moving forward. Have you done a comparison of both approaches you’ve employed in your life? Which do you think is better? Which do you think has helped you move on and mature? Yes, sister, positive thinking has always been in every self-help book there is for that exact reason…it works! It is powerful!

I didn’t have to get to the second chapter even of The Secret by Rhonda Byrne to realize and understand the beauty and magic of thinking positively. She instantly got me in the page where she said that the energy you send to the world is the same energy that you will receive. It makes so much sense! Positive thinking just went scientific in that statement. Still, it’s not anything tangible where you can hold on to any formula, solution or a product. But then again, haven’t we been talking about positive and negative charges since grade school? It is scientific and simple. Positive thinking is the mind. It is an attitude that you use and apply to your daily living.

Another idea in her book that I think is really helpful was when she said that the universe doesn’t have any filter. Apparently, the universe doesn’t get it when you say, “I hope I will NOT fail.” The message the universe receives from you is the word “FAIL” so “FAIL” is what you’re most likely to get. You see the point? This may or may not be true but I truly find this a helpful tip in practicing positivity. Hence, instead of saying “I will not fail”, declare to the world that you will succeed by blatantly saying, “I will succeed.” Here, “SUCCEED” is  the message you send to the world so “SUCCEED” is what you’re gonna get. Claim it!

Most of the time, it is truly easier to slide into negativity than to lift your chin up especially when nothing seems to be going right no matter how much plans and preparation you got. I, too, am guilty of this. Recently, in the past months, I have been worried about the happenings at work – it is something no one obviously wanted to happen but then again it happened. These “happenings” dragged on from weeks to months that eventually led me to be depressed about work. In the earlier days of this unfortunate event in my work life, I have remained positive but as you can guess, my pills of positivity eventually ran out. And it ran out even faster because of other occurrences that had me more disappointed than I originally was. My sources of frustration piled up and I succumbed. I allowed myself to be buried under all the dismay. Slowly, I became the kind of person I wouldn’t want in my association. I took almost every opportunity to air my dissatisfaction which looking back now isn’t really anything to be proud of. Sure, everyone has the right to voice out how they feel and catharsis has been a proven therapeutic technique in dealing with stress but honestly, I think I’ve gone too far. I allowed the negativity to win. It wasn’t an instant win that had me become a pessimist automatically in a day. It happened over time but then again, I allowed it to happen. In retrospect, has my blabber helped? In a way, it may have helped me release some steam. But believing that I’ve overdone it, has it changed the situation? I wish I could say it did what with all the energy I’ve spent (wasted) on being nothing but a ‘negatron’. IT DID NOT! Now where am I getting at? Would being optimistic have changed the situation – like would it have stopped the series of sources of dissatisfaction for me? Definitely not! As I’ve mentioned in my previous post (10 Things I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self), “Positive thinking will not stop bad things from happening but it will make bad things a whole lot bearable,” which at this point in my realization I am certain to be true. Hadn’t I been so absorbed in the negativity, I wouldn’t have gone to work (on many instances) already feeling drained. Hadn’t I been so absorbed in the negativity, I wouldn’t have regarded every subsequent negative situation happening to be another unfortunate event I had to deal with which you see is another tiring cycle of pessimism — you see a negative instance occurring, you talk about it negatively, everything in your world looks dry, sad and negative. It’s a vicious cycle! Hadn’t I been so absorbed in the negativity, I would have been happier in those days, have done happier activities, have thought of happier thoughts and have lived more happily.

I couldn’t be any more thankful of that week of rest and quiet I had in my hometown just a few days ago. Those days off from work and all the things and factors I left behind that were causing me stress gave me the opportunity to touch base with the real me, my ideals and principles as a person. That opportunity led me to recognize that I’ve become a different person – and it wasn’t the good kind of different! I realized that I’ve become negative – too negative – in the career aspect of my life. I realized that I (and the people around me) have enough of that and that I had to return to my usual self – the positive one, the one who always said “Think positive.”, the one who always searched for the silver lining, the one who doesn’t give up. I’ve always thought that I had full control (and when I say full, I mean 110%) of my faculties. I learned that I am wrong. Really, everyone is prone to becoming an unhealthy thinker. No one is immune. And it’s no one’s fault. From this experience, I learned that one really has to make time for self-evaluation. You constantly have to check on yourself. You constantly have to ask yourself if you like and are proud of the person you’ve become and becoming. When I asked myself this a week ago, I certainly felt in my heart that the pessimism has got to stop.

Now that I am back at base, I feel lighter and I feel more normal. I feel more me. I still look out for options or ways out (as the problem is still there and I don’t think it’s just gonna be perfectly fine any time soon) but I no longer spend most of my time talking and thinking bad about it. I vow to look out for the rainbow, as always. The situation is already unhappy, why make my entire life unhappy? After all, work is just a part of my life. It is not my life. I have a whole lot of other things going on and it’s unfair of me (or anyone) to dwell on the wrong when so much right has happened and continue to happen in my life (and yours).

This, like any other dilemma in life, too shall pass. And while we let God work on that dark situation, spend your time doing what you love. This is just a phase. Don’t let this phase be your entire life. Life goes on. Cliche, but true. Don’t let the situation change you – especially the good in you. Be the hero of your life story. Acknowledge the fact that life isn’t going to be perfect. No one has it perfect anyway. You gotta add some spice for it not to be dull. If your life ever gets published, you wouldn’t want a boring story, would you? Always remember that without the rain, there would never be rainbows. Keep that in mind, will you? Trust me. You’ll have an even more colorful life.

Can I get an amen? 🙂 #

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