I’m hopelessly clinging to 27 for as long as I can but really, who am I fooling? I will be 28 in seven months. I don’t know why but I personally feel like the 20s is The Golden Era. It’s that time of life where I feel that you can achieve most, if not all, of your dreams because you are just young, energized, goal-driven, focused, exceptionally eager and unstoppable. It’s Renaissance, if you would.
This is why I would like to stay a twenty-something for a little bit longer. It’s safe to say that I’m having qualms about the impending hitting of the 3s. I remember myself getting so excited about turning 21 than when I became 18. Now with hitting 30s, I’m sure life would still be the same. Life will go on. And I’m all for life being in the way we frame our minds about stuff, aging included. You know that already. But there’s just something about being a 30s woman which kind of makes me feel like I’m soon going to reach a deadline. That it’s going to be judgment day. You know that feeling of knowing that it’s not going to be an ‘end’ but deep inside you feel like somehow it is but you just can’t pinpoint exactly what it is that’s about to ‘end’.
Life is funny. Memories of me wanting to become older when I was in high school are crystal clear to me. I couldn’t wait to finish college, be employed and earn for myself. I just had so many goals and I felt like I could do them all. I still think I can. I am positive of that. However, having two years and seven months left before I hit the big 3 seems too short a time. I guess I’ve just had too many happy and fulfilling experiences in my 20s that it’s hard for me to see this chapter of my life close. I don’t want it to be over.
Writing this now, I also realized that maybe turning 30 soon means another empty life book being opened. It is always exciting to know that you can kind of start over but at the same time, it is scary. I admit that. While I know and believe that this is not a path that is and has to be forced on anyone if they don’t feel like it, in a way, 30s to me means beginning your own family hence more responsibilities and possibly less time for your personal goals. That is a reality when you get married and have kids. Surely, you can do both family and personal ambitions, but naturally it wouldn’t be easy. I think that is what somehow contributes to the feeling of a deadline coming soon.
Don’t get me wrong. I’d very much like to start my own family. I’m looking forward to a happy marriage. I’m thinking about family life. That is another personal goal I’d like to unlock for myself very soon.
But before I get there, have I measured up to become a real adult? Have I done what I am supposed to do? Have I lived a fulfilled young adult life? Have I actually accomplished the things I’ve set myself to do when I reached my early 20s? Am I worthy? Have I accumulated enough Life XPs to actually say that I can move on to the next level? I guess the real and more important question is.. Am I ready?
I guess I’ll just have to wait and see. #